Spring is sprung the highs and lows...

A semi-serious reflection on the 'joys of spring'.

Really nice Easter weekend in UK. Blossom buds are on our cherry tree (something I love to see) and soon the trees will change from their sad winter forms into the greenest garb of the year. Birds twitter and life unfurls from the shell of winter. All good stuff. In general I love spring weather; crisp and cool (and together with the tail end of autumn) my favourite time of year.

But this unfurling wondrous growth brings with it several threats. Gardening; now I love nice well kept gardens as much as anyone else. Why I could sit in a deckchair and gaze at one for ages. The trouble is; getting them like that involves not 'patio time' but, work.

Not only that but work for the seemingly ungrateful god of growth. So today I will cut the grass, now that will teach it a lesson! But it won't, it will just encourage it to grow more then some bright soul will say if we aerated that, got out all the dandelion's and fed it would it look better. Answer yes; qualification and it would be more lush, take longer to cut and grow a lot more quickly.

Sigh... Now I don't mind investing some time - but be reasonable, after 20 years of cutting my lawns they should have got the hang of this. It's simple - I want them to be 1.5 inches long, lush and weed free. I mean how difficult is that to understand? The box hedge must know it should stop growing at the top of the fence and be of a box shape - I mean its called a 'box hedge' - get your act together nature!

But now the relentless waves of reality crash against the shore of my hopeful spring-fevered brain. An the water sends a chill through my once relaxed body. Think of something nice... Calm. Calm... Better.

Of course we have the delight of birds out foraging for nesting material and the cycle of life begins over. I love it it is reassuring, affirmative and welcome.

But somewhere in evolution it got muddled; poor old Homo Sapiens Sapiens it would be fine if all of us had inherited this mutation that kicks in at this time of year. But no in some cruel twist of fate only 51% of us would. And this would be the cause of more conflict and angst for the other 49% than sometimes they can bear.

Tell me, what is so good about spring - cleaning?

Or the plan of several weekends of drudgery it involves. What strange spirit inhabits the mind of the mutant and convinces her (oops bit of a give away!) that this year we are going to get the house and garden really nice!

Why? Has this worked any other year? Do you lady have any historical precedence to suggest we will? Nope, but the mutant gene has switched on and we now believe our home will magically transform itself into a palace with well tended structures and surroundings (maybe even the occasional nymph fluttering by - the one thing in my opinion Garden Centre's really could usefully supply).

So here I sit at my keyboard caught in the catch 22 of liking Spring and its luscious promise and regretting I exist. Life is such a quandary; but I have no time to sit and ponder; there is after all - there is grass to be cut :-)